Trauma, Does it Have to Control Me?
As much as we like to think we have control of our lives and the events thereof, the truth is there are many occurrences that transpire along our journey that blindside us.
Although not always do these ‘out of the blue’ occurrences derail us or even make us skip a beat, some of them can be referred to as traumatic events or emotional disturbances that have the potential to completely put us ‘out of commission’, ‘shut down’, or, on some kind of pill to help us cope. It is at the point of the experience (where we find ourselves on an emotional roller coaster) that we must determine ‘does this trauma have to control me’? Within this question there is only one absolute…we, individually, are in control of the answer. Regardless of the trauma’s details, the pain that we feel is all too real and it’s that pain we are experiencing that has the ability to change the face of our current reality mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. The details are not the issue. The issue is how we decide to proceed from the point impact.
Just as there are many variations of traumatic experiences such as: loss of employment, relationships, violence, violations of both physical and material natures, accidents and deaths so there are also many ways in which we can react.
Naturally, the severity of the incident, along with many other components, will play an intricate roll in our reaction. It’s important we understand that each one of us holds our own criteria for what we find traumatic, so, what may feel like a trauma to us may not be to someone else and what may seem severe to one may be minute to another. The point of this statement is perspective. Each one of us will be affected differently according to the circumstance of the situation at hand. With that being said, there is not only one right way to handle a traumatic occurrence. There are, however, some basic steps in regard to self-reflection and evaluation that we can take in order to assist in the processing and releasing of the disturbance and its effects.
Here are some important steps to consider:
1. Decide whether professional help is needed or if this experience can be overcome with self-initiative, inner strength, personal reflection and the assistance of those closest to you. Understand that there is no shame in either choice. You may even decide to change your mind and go the other route; this too is okay and entirely up to you. The focus should be the most effective way to process and release the trauma, not the method used. Should you choose the assistance of those close to you, I would suggest too begin with two to three people that you feel closest to and that you know you can trust. A wise woman once said to me, ‘the more people you involve in your problem the more problems you will face’. Meaning, everyone has an opinion and they are not always going to be the same or even similar therefore, it can become more confusing and frustrating for you to make an accurate assessment due to varying opinions.
2. Sort through the emotions. Regardless of the decision made for #1, it is imperative in the healing process to sort through and categorize the emotions that are surfacing. Personal reflection will be an asset in this process because not only is it beneficial to sort through the emotions that are surfacing but it is equally as important to look within, recognize and bring out the emotions that we’re subconsciously trying to bury. No one expects anyone to overcome a trauma in a day. So, begin this process with a piece of paper, journal or something of the like, and log what you are feeling. It is perfectly fine to take your time on this exercise since there are many different stages in the healing process, and, because within each stage there are a variety of new emotions being felt. It’s not unlikely to feel the presence of an emotion, yet not be able to identify it, so call upon those helping you to assist with this exercise should it be necessary.
3. Be honest with yourself. This is the area that a professional or those close to you will be of great assistance. Many times, in the event of a trauma or emotional disturbance, we take upon ourselves unnecessary responsibilities, burdens and baggage that resemble blame, guilt, fear, depression and shame. At the same time, it can become easy to lose some of what we possessed within ourselves like our confidence, self-esteem, faith, hope, drive, perseverance and joy. It is very important to keep perspective in this area; understanding that adding layers of unnecessary debris will only prolong the healing and release process not to mention, who needs additional baggage? So, be honest with yourself and retain only what will benefit you from the experience: a lesson that may have been learned, a truth that may have been revealed or perhaps someone that has crossed your path as a result of the occurrence. Remember: In every experience is a growth opportunity so embrace your opportunity to grow.
4. Let it go. Letting go will certainly be a challenge in most cases but necessary nonetheless. It serves no personal benefit holding on to a negative experience, however, it will take time to get to the point where we are ready and willing to really let it go. Take the time you need to go through the above 3 steps as many times as necessary. I find that meditation and prayer is a wonderful vehicle throughout the entire process and it’s available to us anytime, anywhere. Take the time to go up and seek ‘Divine Intelligence’; whether with petitions of your own or just to be filled with the strength and love they offer. We have the ability to release as much negative energy as we want to the light of Universal Love and we can practice this technique as often as we like. The important thing is being open to taking the steps necessary to let it go.’
The processing is pivotal in our release and recovery because how we process the experience and the emotion attached to it determines the effects left behind and the damage it can potentially create on more than one level of our being. Typically, every trauma brings with it a fear as well as a slew of other negative emotions.
The emotion created by the experience is linked to a body system and organ. If you don’t allow the emotion to take its proper course of action then it files itself away in the organ that it is associated with, or, the organ that is the weakest, thereby affecting your physical health as well. Keep in mind that taking a prescription pill as a result of a traumatic experience will only serve as a masking agent. It will not help to resolve anything, it will only make you a slave to its mind-altering benefits. Valuable to note, usually with prescription pills there are a myriad of side effects that are even worse then what you may already be feeling. Should there be a need for a prescription to assist in mentally and emotionally processing a trauma, please do not hang your hat on that alone.
Take the time to go through the 4 steps listed above, look into any of the many support options available (like my unique energy healing process called REV – Rapid Elevation of Vibration) and rest assured that at some point in our lives we all need help. I believe in you, so believe you’re worth believing in and determine within yourself, “I will not allow this trauma to control me”.
Abundance is yours ~
Bernadette Di Gabriele